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Something Borrowed…

New Spin, Old Dress – A Guest Blog by Nadean Bruehlman of Gene Ho

For most brides the prospect of wearing her mother’s wedding dress is totally out of the question, or never even hits the radar.

It’s a dated tradition – It’s a dated dress.
 
But…. have you stopped and really thought this through?
 Two of my recent brides dropped jaws, drew tears & danced the night away with a little twist. 

Maybe before we dive into the depths of mom’s closet rummaging for that crinkly bag that hasn’t seen the light of day in decades, we should back up and properly consider all things before we go there.

Let’s begin by acknowledging the new bride
Her wedding dreams, desires and pending planning process. Whoa-ly overwhelming.
Even the bride who hasn’t been playing Cinderella since she was 4 still has hopes for the day that means she becomes a they.
Above all – Today’s bride is grounded.

Aren’t you?

You’ll go in to buying your gown with a realism that one day your daughter would never dream of wearing this dress. 

She’ll want her own. Much like you do. 

You’ll approach the hunt thinking in the now. Maybe follow a theme? Or look to be more Southern? Maybe you’re the Modern & Edgy type, looking to make a statement? Or do you just want to find something that *isn’t strapless?

Most brides probably don’t have a word for it. They’re chasing a custom vision in their heads; the one created from snippets of magazines, TLC and friends’ weddings. 

I suppose part of the allure of finding your dress comes with thriving on the adventure and scavenging to find it.

And we all deserve that turbulent hunt.  

In fact, it’s sort of like a self help exercise designed to ensure you’re equipped with enough patience to be married. 

And I suppose while you’re in it, we should soak in the experience even more – remembering that in two years it will no longer be the most gorgeous gown of a lifetime that we’re seeking, but someone else’s socks, hockey mask, remote, or… in my case? The soy sauce. 

Even those of us out there who didn’t bask in the glory of trying on handfuls of different dresses find a great sense of pride (maybe just relief?) in finally committing to that dress… even if she did threaten to toss a dart, blindfolded, into a rack of potential dresses and swear to purchase the one I… I mean SHE damaged. 

I digress – back to Mom’s dress…

Okay, let’s put the puffy sleeves, giant butt bow and 10-foot train aside for a bit. 
(just humor me) 

Let’s pretend fashion isn’t the concern. 

I’m not naive to the fact that there could be other thoughts to consider in your pursuit to graciously opt out here. 

Speaking for myself? 

Well, my parents hit a little fork in the road and journeyed south to Splitsville many moons ago. My mother’s wedding dress would have been a wicked cute consideration, but maybe it’s just me… 

Though I love them both dearly – isn’t the dress sort of… I don’t know… Tainted? Broken magic?

That is, frankly, if it still even exists?? 

Well, I’m just saying in this case I recognize a possible deterrent. 

Since I started by throwing all sensitivity out the window bringing that up I may as well mention another potential hiccup. 

While there is something to be said about genetics and DNA – love it or hate it the body styles of women today aren’t the same as they were 30 years ago. 

What a kick in the bloomers to discover you can’t zip up mom’s dress? 

It’s already bad enough that modern day wedding dresses are sized incorrectly. 

You fall in love, sign the paperwork, and then they tell you to order a size 10 when the pants you had lying on the dressing room floor just 20 minutes ago CLEARLY read size 6.

Certainly would be an easier sell — dear new age wedding designer people — if I know I’m a 6, but I have to report to my friends that, “well… yes… they suggested I order a 4, but they feel certain it will need to be brought in quite considerably…” 

“oooo, cute, little you!!” -friends say. 

Yea, okay. So maybe you don’t need mom’s tiny hiney from the 80’s raining on your pre-wedding pilates routine. 

I’m not doing such a hot job thus far of presenting this concept in a glowing light.

That’s good. Because you probably haven’t even checked to see if this relic is in tact. That is hasn’t been devoured by moths, molded or dry rotten from humidity, stained, frayed, or donated!! 

Also, probably need to stop and consider that you’re not either a) the first born or b) an only child. 

My bestie is #4 in a line of 6 girls. So I completely failed to note that Mom’s white wonder may have already been snagged up by the upper classmen of your siblingry. 

All things considered I may be sprinkling this little nugget of possibility on to a mere 3 percent of the current bridal population. 

But I’m compelled to share. 

Here are the stories of just two gals who had their cake, and ate it too. 

Lauren Till married Jay Scurry March 22, 2013. In a dress she found, herself. 

Rachel Hudson married C.T. York on June 1st, 2013

In a dress she found, herself.

Both Rachel and Lauren are very close with their mothers – as well as being best friends. 

Rachel was the maid of honor for Lauren in March, and Lauren turned around and was the matron of honor a few months later for Rachel. 


And beyond the many similarities they have personally – they share an amazing story ….as they are the 3 percent.

Both decided to wear their mother’s (slightly) altered 1980’s wedding gown as a party dress at their reception. 

“We have always been best friends and so getting married around the same time and then having this similarity with our mom’s wedding dresses who are also best friends just made it all the more special!” -Rachel Hudson

Reactions were all positive.
Both have said that many of their friends commented that, “your mom’s dress looks so much like my mom’s did” 
And Rachel recalls her husband standing firmly that this is the most beautiful dress she’s ever worn.

And for Lauren- wearing this dress brought an even more special tribute to her daddy being present with her, wearing the dress her mom pledged her love to him 31 years earlier.
“Jay and I are so blessed to have great parents and two wonderful marriages to look up to, so by wearing my mom’s wedding dress, it was almost like sharing that promise to love each other forever.” -Lauren Till

So…. to the 97% of us out there — bummer, right?

For the 3% – rock that little number, the masses envy you. 

But for all of us: 

Remember this blog post 27 years from now when your daughter asks if she may peek at your wedding dress.

 

 

 

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